Leftovers In The Fridge

1. Passed over pastrami, don’t tell Mommy, it’s really salami. Perhaps it’s corned beef? The debate rages on.
2. Hot dog rolls with spores of mold.
3. Three varieties mustard, none are any good. No compliments for these condiments.
4. Chicken Cacciatore, made by Lori, you know the story, it isn’t any good.
5. Pimento loaf is just so gross, even when it’s fresh.
6. Days old Chinese, anyone’s guess which one has beef. Unbeknownst to me.
7. One tin of pickled fish, who’s idea was this?
8. Moldy olives floating in brine that wouldn’t be suited for common swine.
9. I’m not even guessing what’s in that salad dressing.
10. Fruit cup experiment, unintended, better steer clear, your day won’t be splendid.

 

Jamey, November 2010

Farthings And Whey

Lame-legged Ken was known to roam about town now and then, searching for farthings and whey. Happening upon a dice game, he put in his coin and took a roll of chance. He hit it big, danced a jig, and all his farthings fell from his pockets. Mid-jig Ken noticed the local kids gathering up his unintended donation, he stopped his celebration, but it was too late. His lame leg couldn’t keep up with the spry youngsters who had already reached the penny candy store, his pockets empty once more, all he could do was watch the brats eat their S’mores.

Jamey, September 2010

Minty Lint Balls

John Henry Stinkpot moved from the city to a town of naught. His arrival the talk of the town, he purchased Old Man Farthing’s Farm. The farm had it’s charms, from the hay fields to the barn.

John meant to try something different, he planted sprigs of mint and balls of lint. What he expected nobody knew, but John had a clue, and he kept secret what he knew.

The next season brought a new item to store shelves: Minty Lint Balls. The town was appalled, store owners galled, and John Henry was left with a barn full of lint balls.

Take pity on Stinkpot for leaving the city.

Jamey, July 2010

The Unusual Errand List

LIST:

1. Unsalted Sea Salt
2. Extra Dry Moisturizer
3. Tri-Colored Peppers in colors of two
4. Mixed Baby Greens mostly in Brown
5. Nutless Honey Nut Cheerios
6. De-boned Bone-In Ribeye
7. Missing Lost & Found Items
8. Clear Masking Tape
9. Canadian Scotch Tape
10. Poorly Padded Pampers
11. Unscented Air Freshener
12. Pair of Flannel Denim Jeans

Jamey, July 2010

The Shed

Fern-footed Fred spent time in the shed, shaving his head and building a bed. Fred’s brother said “Get out of that shed!” but Fred wouldn’t budge, he held a grudge, and damned if he wasn’t gonna finish that bed. Head shorn, nearly morn, time for bed, and Fred stayed in the shed. Let’s just say he’s a stubborn bastard.

Jamey, July 2010